The Walls of My Room

The walls of my room are painted blue, it blends with the color of sorrow, matches my shade of grief.
The walls of my room offer no solace but a garrison I retreat into when I'm tired of my own battles.
The walls of my room are cold and stonedeaf, it doesn't hear me cry nor does it care or pay attention and reminds me how lonely life can be.
The walls of my room are the echoes of my thousand sighs and the million whys I've asked myself over and over again.
The walls of my room are scattered with pictures of your face that fades out with the darkness of the night.
The walls of my room tells me that I'm alone and lets in the rain from outside and into my eyes again...
...and I know that only you can break through these walls.

**11*09**

Ang daya

Last night lunacy was at the end of the other line... and she silently listened to my every rant:

"Ang daya daya.

Madaya kse siya lagi ang laman ng isip mo paggising mo sa umaga hanggang sa pagtulog andun siya. Pero siya kaya, sumasagi ka man lang ba sa isip niya?
Madaya kse ikaw andito naghihintay ni hindi mo alam kung me hinihintay ka pa, baka wala na pala.
Madaya kse alam mo na kahit ano mangyari siya pa din para sa'yo kahit pa hindi siya bumalik pero siya alam niya na andyan ka lang naghihintay. Ang daya...
Madaya kse ikaw hilam na hilam na ang mata mo sa sarili mong luha pero siya hindi mo alam baka nakatawa, nagpaparty dahil wala ka na.

Lunacy stayed silent the whole time and only now did I realize that.. Yes it is so unfair, but who said that it's gonna be fair?

Oo madaya, pero alam mo sa sarili mo na ikaw ang pumili niyan, hindi ka nya pinilit na isipin siya, umasa o maghintay at lalong hindi niya sinabi sa'yo na lumuha ka.
Nandyan ka kse pinili mong lumaban at kung sakali man na matalo ka at least masasabi mo sa sarili mo na ibinigay mo lahat. Kaya lang talunan ka lang talaga."
Ganun siguro yun.

Unfair.

**11*09**

Star
Razorback

I've been trying so hard to make two ends meet.
My head in the clouds I can't conceal
conceit.
I try to justify your look, bewitched eye.
Am I shining grightly on a falsified sky?
And I try so hard just to be like you.
And I'm just a star, and I'll fade away too
. . . ..like you.
You'll see me as I am but I'm empty inside.
We'll suck each other in the blackhole that
is life.
I can be a fallen star, not fallen from grace.
One plane, one world, one sky, so me don't
alienate.
And I try so hard just to be like you.
And I'm just a star, and I'll fade away too
. . . ..like you.
Blind, you will see.
Star that is me.

Rain fell at 11:45 am