Wait and Bleed

People talk about love like its magic, like its supposed to be the most wonderful feeling anyone would ever know... and I guess it is, and it is not at the same time. When one falls in love its not always magical, nor a trip to seventh heaven. Love isn't always about bliss or a 15 minute kiss... sometimes it's a thorn stuck on your neck and you cannot just simply pull it off because you might bleed to death... sometimes love really hurts.
One knows that he's really in love when he is willing to do everything for the sake of the one he loves, when he is ready to risk all of him for that one great love to survive. They say love strives in hurting, the question is- does it have to hurt all the time? When you find someone you know you really love and loves you back is it worth the pain? I have always looked at love as something worth dying for, in the same light that I live for it. But does it really mean that you have to let go if it brings you more pain than joy?
A part of me tells me that I should let go, that I should stop hoping that she'll come back to take me in her arms again. My friends keep telling me that I should move on and leave it all behind. But that empty space in me yearns for her, aches for her still. I want to drain every ounce of it and give it all for her so I could tell myself that I didn't go down without a fight. Then maybe one day she'll remember. "I once met a man who gave everything for me but I left him, but he told me that I can always come running back to him" And she doesn't have to be the one running back. All she has to do is call my name. And I'll be there to take her again.
People talk about love like it's magic, like it's supposed to be the most wonderful feeling anyone would ever know. It is and is not at the same time. I know it now. It's a gamble and no one can guarantee you will win. You can bleed to death but it's worth it for love is life in all its aspects. You miss love and you miss life.
I wouldn't want to miss it. Not for anything else in this world.

Rain fell at 12:27 am

**11*09**

Text

I had another dream of her again.
It was so real, I almost felt happy again.
In my dream I so a text message on my dad's phone and it was her. She said she misses me and she's asking for my new landline number.
I didn't see her in my dream but the message was enough to make me float in elation.
God I wish it was real...

**11*09**

An open letter to the most high

Dear God,

They say that you never fail to answer our prayers, and that most times when we feel that you didn't heed our call the answer was "No". For 2 years I've prayed and asked you not to take her away from me, not this time, not anymore.
I can't understand why you would give me someone that I've grown to love and need only to wake up one day you've taken it all away like it was never there.
"Perhaps there are reasons..." others would say, reasons that reason itself cannot understand.
I do not ask for you divine interference whichever you wanna call it. I just want you to tell her that I'm still here, waiting for her to take me back.
My life has gone in disarray, and I'm sorry because I told her I'd be strong for her but I'm too weak to try to be strong.
Will you help me?
When will I ever get you to say "yes"?
Please send me a sign.
and Please watch over her for me...

**11*09**

Rest

This is for Cristina... I'm sorry about what happened to your brother...
We're just one click away... you're never alone.

Hush

Sleep now
little one,
close your
eyes and claim
your rest.
this world
does not
compare
to the place
where your
slumber
will take you.
Hush now
my brother.
the light
will take
you away.
And though forever
you'll be gone
to fly
to a distant
land.
you're
never far;
never far
from
my heart...

Rain fell at 11:07 am