Cursed

Last night, Jing asked us if we can drop by her house for some late night chat and booze so we went there and found an elegantly wasted friend who can hardly remember a thing she just uttered or heard 2 seconds after.
I guess Aphrodite has gone psycho on us, she gave us the-you-will-never-be-happy-with-your-lovelife curse or maybe her son Eros (that whimsy, capricious little kid is a “GSM (Ginebra San Miguel) Blue junkie for pity’s sake) has been toying with us and we failed to dodge his arrows. Simply put we’re all stuck in heartache land, thanks to the goddess of love and beauty for paying the lease for us. We owe a lot to her.
Jing’s still ranting about the Sperm Donor, if you have read my previous post you have been properly acquainted with the black devil. Jeff has joined the lonely hearts club this week, he just broke it off with his gf last Tuesday. So we’ll probably throw a party because we’re all blessed with the same curse. Misery, despair, grief, and sorrow will join the bunch of party animals to dance in our wet and wild party of tears. Entrance is free and love is consumable. You drink it, you pee it off and a hang-over comes with the package.
And you know what?
The party never stops.

**11*09**

Happy

hap.py (hap’e) adj., -pi-er,-pi-est. 1. feeling or providing contented pleasure or joy 2. fortunate or lucky 3. apt or felicitous
-Webster’s Desk Dictionary of the English Language

Have you ever asked yourself what is it in this world that would really make you happy? Do you spend countless hours at discos and bars dancing frantically and tell yourself that “Hey I’m happy!” I’ll do this every weekend” Have you ever thought of What really gets you high? Have you ever gone to bed with a smile on your face and dream fairytales and wake up living the dream? Is there really such a thing?
I’ve asked myself too many of these questions, but I always come up with the same answer.
Love.
Love makes the world go round.
Love lifts us up where we belong.
Love, what a word… such a small word but spells a big difference. I’ve felt it and I was happy. I felt it when I was with her. I found my happiness but now it’s gone… and I’m not sure if it’s ever comin’ back…

I was happy, just knowing that she’s around, even if I had tears in my eyes, because I know I’ll cry even more when she’s gone.
And know I’m lost again and no matter how hard I look for it,
I can’t seem to find it.
I guess I left my happiness along with my heart with her.

**11*09**

5 years

My Mp3 playlist only has one song in it.
Sugar Hiccup’s 5 years.
I’m playing it for 4 hours now,
Continuous play.

I love the song, the eerie melody
And Melody’s haunting voice.

mmm… mmm…
feel the pain
but do not thrive in it.
…But he will never back…
feel the rage
but do not emphatize

and my pain,
my rage…
blending with
the echoes
of her humming…
creeping with
chill of utter
loneliness…

Scream.

Alone…

Rain fell at 3:18 pm