For Jaden

October 25, 2008

3:38 pm

Dearest Jaden,

I’m right here outside the Operating Room where your mom was taken, more than an hour and a half ago. Im scared. Im scared for you and your mom. I wanted so much to be there by your mom’s side. So I could at least hold her hand. I know she’s scared too, but I can see how she’s trying to hide it, not because she doesn’t want me to see her real feelings but because she wants to be brave. She’ll be brave for you.

In a few hours, you’ll be here. I don’t know how long will it take for the doctors or the nurses allow me to see you but I sure am excited. I want to see you come out safe, I want to see your mom and hold her in my arms and tell her how much I love her. I love you both you and your mom, more than anything else in this world.

If I could trade places with your mom, I would, I don’t want to see her in pain, but that’s not possible. So all I can do is sit here and wait, and pray that you’ll both come out alright. Nothing can ease my fears right now but the sight of you and your mom. There are a thousand feelings I can’t even begin to describe right now and I wish they will all be replaced with the joy of seeing you for the first time, the relief of seeing your mom open her eyes and look for her son, our son.

She will be fine, you will be fine, she’ll look at you and her tired body will feel as though she never went under the knife. I will see her face light up once she sees you. And I will be standing there watching you both, eager to let your mom hold you for the very first time. This is all I hope for, and all I pray for.

I’ll be seeing you in a while. :)

Love,

Daddy

Waiting

My dearest one,

Its not gonna take too long before I finally see your face, before I can touch your hands and I can't wait to feel your fingers around mine. A tight grip as if to say, Im here, I am finally here.

I am excited to see you, I want to hold you and feel your body close to my chest, close to my heart. The warmth of my embrace will keep you safe, will make you feel loved.

She's going to be very exhausted, your mom. But at the sight of you, all her pain from the previous hour or so will gently be eased away. Her tired body will heal in an urgent sense of relief. You are the one we've been waiting for.

And you will be here.

I can't wait to see your first smile, the first time you open your eyes and see us. You are our love. And though I know you'll never have a recollection of that instant. That one single moment will live in my memories until the day I die.

I can't wait to hear your first word, or perhaps the first syllable you will ever utter, it will be like music. Far better than Mozart or Beethoven or the Beatles, no, not even close.

Your first step, your first fall, the first time you'll ride a bike, I can wait to see and watch you grow.

I love you Jaden! I love you my son.

Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you...

Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)
John Lennon

Close your eyes,

Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He's on the run and your daddy's here,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,


Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,


Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime...

Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,


Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,


Darling,
Darling,
Darling Sean.

John Lennon wrote this song for his son Sean Lennon, now Im singing this to my son, Jaden. I love you so much!