The 10 peso change

Have you ever bought something from a convenience store or even a sari-sari store, you take out a P100 bill and the guy at the counter with an irritated tone asks you, "Wala ba kayong barya, Sir?" (Do you have a smaller bill?). It makes you feel bad and you end up feeling sorry as hell because you failed to realize that its your civil duty, yes its your  civil obligation that you got to have barya. %&$%!

So the other night I came out with a bag of 10 peso coins from our piggy bank that we saved for our son and I wanted to have it changed for P100, or  a P500 bill. I was thinking to my head this is going to be easy because most of the store owners  would really look at you with a flaming glare if you buy small stuffs with a bigger bill. I thought I was doing them a favor so I was surprised when a store told me. "Di namin kailangan ng barya" (We don't need your coins, we have lots of it).

Perflexed and stunned, I went home cursing.

I guess this is classic humanity, that's how people are. You got to have something they will benefit from. I won't do you any favor as you aren't doing me any. I can't be kind without expecting anything in return. Maybe I am over reacting and passing judgment for a mere 10 peso coin but then again its just a small picture of the bigger canvas.

Sad.

5 Elements of a Good Film

I was on my way to work this morning and I rode the bus and guess what they were playing on their video on board? No it wasn't Pride and Prejudice or Breakfast at Tiffany's neither was it A Few Good Men or the equally perennial blockbuster movies of Steven Seagal. It was a pirated copy of New Moon.

And so a few minutes away from login to the inhumane little torture voicebox named AVAYA. I new I had to write this down before this article gets drained along with my energy.

The 5 Elements of a Good Film

1. Weak Plot: The plot should evolve around star crossed lovers, who faces difficulties of unmatched proportions. It should not be contemporary and the story has to be well written on water. It should tackle vampires and werewolves and destroy everything that has already been told about them. For as long as it can elicit "Kilig" or shivers down the audiences spines, it should work. I promise it will.

2. Gorgeous Heroine/ Hot Male Lead: Film makers should be made aware that without this two, the movie will never work, Acting skills isn't a necessity as long as they can deliver their lines by a mere tweak of their face and they have an idea what sadness is, that should be fine. Although I will never understand what women think of as handsome or hot. I think the standards has come a long way from the days of old. (That I don't have any input for because like I said I really don't get it) Men nowadays should have lipstick and should have pale faces and anemic or they can have a nice chiseled body and it wont matter if they look like a werewolf.

3. Eternal shirtless scene: One or more of your male leads has to have 10 or more scenes without their shirt on inexplicably. Im guessing this has something to do with the fact that women outnumber men in terms of population. That's it, no further explanation required.

4. Constant pain: One of the characters has to look like they are in constant pain. The characters name may or may not be Jasper but this element should be satisfied in order to come up with a very interesting character.

5. Popular Book Phenomenon: Like Harry Potter which was written originally and is still categorized as a children's book, the movie should come out from a very popular book written by an unknown author. It has to be a huge success with teenagers and children and adults will eventually start reading it. Face it, kids nowadays set the trend in what's going to be popular.

The movie was very good. I like it. (Oh crap, crap, crap)

Willie Revillame

"Kung ganyan, pakita na lang natin 'yan. Kasi nagsasaya kami dito, tapos... Masakit sa akin 'yan, e. Nagsasalita ako dito... 'yan, please. Sana maintindihan n'yo. Nagsasaya kami dito, papakita n'yo sa amin yun ang... di ba? Hindi tama, e. Okey? Hindi ba?" "Pangit! Hindi ho maganda sa atin. Nagsasalita, ipinapakita yung kabaong ni Tita Cory, hindi ba? Papano kami makapagsasaya, nahihirapan kami? I'm sorry ho, ha. Pero ako, totoo ako, e. 'Wag n'yo akong pagagalitan, kasi totoo ang gusto kong malaman... "Pagkatapos ng show, ipakita n'yo ang gusto n'yong palabas. Kasi itong Wowowee, gusto ko... Hindi ba, at alam din ni Tita Cory 'yan dahil napasaya rin siya ng show na ito na laging masaya dito, ok?"



This was the airheaded buffoon's comments over Cory's cortege in his number one stupid program.



For some, this will appear as biased and I might even sound as a flame starter but I cant stand this TV host anymore, and I think something needs to be done, something drastic, like banning him from being seen on the television for 10 years or for his entire lifetime. He is an arrogant, hypocritical maniac who doesnt deserve to rip on the merits of his fame.

I wonder what people see in this show. Apart from the "masa" format. People may have totally forgotten about the ULTRA stampede and deaths that came with this show. And what happened to that whole fiasco about the game fixing? Gone to oblivion?

I can only wish that his TV show gets cancelled.

An Instrument of Change

I grew up at a time when political turmoil was at its peak, Our entire nation was fed up with the bondage of oppression and dictatorship. I was 3 years old when her husband, the late Senator Ninoy Aquino was assasinated at the tarmac of NAIA.  I can still remember the image of Ninoy lying face down at the airport from our black and white TV, I did not understand what was going on then, all I can recall was the image of a lifeless man.

3 years later, Corazon Aquino became the face that spawned change in our country's history. The world turned its eyes on the Philippines as it watched the most peaceful uprising the world will ever know. In its center was Ninoy Aquino's widow, who will later become the president who restored democracy in our country, after over 2 decades of military rule, wrought by injustice and cruelty.

The only president who served with honesty and integrity, now leaves us with memories of her selflessness and enduring faith in God. I never realized how much impact she created in my political subconscious until her passing. And its sad that its more often true in all human dealings. We only realize how much a person means to us when he's/she's gone.

The entire country mourned her passing, I mourn for her and the ideals she fought for, democracy might forever be a concept and may never be attainable for as long as there are people who pervertedly uses power as a means for control and gain. In her death we lost a great leader, and lost the embodiment of conscience and honesty. We lost our conscience. She was an instrument of change. But the times has changed along with the meaning of democracy. Its no longer a government of the people for the people and by the people, it may very well be a government of some people, for some people and by some people.

Let us not taint the memory of Corazon Aquino with false hopes and failed dreams, honor her by restoring faith in the true meaning of democracy. Only then can we be worthy of her sacrifice and call her Tita Cory.

You keep me going

Your love keeps me going, your faith in me helps me as I struggle to fight my insecurities. You keep me warm and safe and I feel comfort in your wings. When you hold me tight, when I rouse you from your sleep and you say "I love you!" I miss you... Your love keeps me sane.

Your smile eases my tired body, and the mere sight of you pushes me to keep dreaming. Yes, I dream still, even though dreaming has always failed me. The sound of your laughter gives rest to my tired soul. I look at your little hands and I wonder how such small hands can create such magic with just one touch. Your tiny little feet tells me that life goes on, to look in to the future with a sense of calm and eager anticipation. Everything is gonna be alright. I have you, I have your mother.

Uncertain as our future together, I grasp at the hope that we'll always stay together, no matter how tough things may become. You'll have me, You'll both have me. I will always be here for you.


I get tired, I get dizzy from life and hope sometimes slips away but I know I have to be strong for you, for our son.

I love you!

You keep me going.

Missing you, missing us...

I saw this in our room when I got home today...

I miss her too, I miss my wife, I miss waking up with her by my side. I come home at night to find her getting ready for work. Sometimes I find her sleeping comfortably in our room when I get home early and I struggle with the urge to wake her up or wait until 7pm or until her alarm wakes her up.

I miss her more than she thinks I do.

I miss you Mine! I hope you can hear me when I say that I miss you...

I miss spending time with you, I miss you and the warmth of your body when I hold you in my arms to hug you tight;

and I love you too Mine! Now more than ever...

Eraserheads Final Set

For the people who loved them, grew up with them and followed their music. For the 90's generation, March 7, 2009 wasn't just an ordinary night. It was a night to remember. One for the annals of our music history.

Marcus, Buddy, Raimund and Ely; or simply The Eraserheads to us. The group who came and broke into the Philippine music scene back in the 1990's with a thunderous  and paved the way for honest to goodness alternative music was on stage. Reunited again. Perhaps for the last time.

And I'm proud to say I was there, with my wife and my Tita. I missed the first one back in August and I still nag myself for that. So we went there with no tickets in hand, consoling ourselves with the thought that at least we'll get to listen to them and that's all that mattered.

But technology was kind to lend us a vision of what's happening inside. A wide screen projector allowed us to witness history. It was a chill to see them play again as one unit.

It took us an hour to park the car, but it was worth all the hassle. When we arrived, Raimund was on the mic singing Slo mo, Marcus took over frontman duties with Insomya afterwards then Ely sang Torpedo to close the 1st set. A break allowed them to rest for a while but by the time we got back near the concert grounds, they were already playing Wishing wells.

I loved the way they played Kailan, I think this was their relaxed acoustic set. When I heard the intro for Spoliarium, it was as if my heart would stop beating. I don't know if it was just me or if it was the athmosphere that was common to every Eheads fan out there but I was emotional. Maybe because of the thought that this is the last time we'll ever see them play together again. Or its because Im a softie. (as my trainer puts it... hahaha!)

 My wife and I outside the concert grounds

The posers outside

There were posers who were slam dancing outside who probably didn't really listen to Eheads but were there to make a scene and validate the authenticity of their rocker image.

There was a 5 minute break after the 2nd set. And then I heard Ely's voice saying, "Para kay Francis" The crowd chanted "Francis, Francis, Francis!" I heard that Francis was supposed to perform Superproxy that night, or was supposed to appear as s surprise guest too bad he didn't make it it would've made this event all the more spectacular. He will surely be missed.

With the crowd chanting the Master Rapper's name. Marcus gave the unmistakable intro for Superproxy, as if it was a trip down memory lane Ely followed it with Minsan. A more melodic version of Alapaap was rendered afterwards and as a tribute to Francis M. They sang the chorus of Kaleidoscope world.

My wife and I talked about what could be the most appropriate Eheads song for the finale. We both agreed it was "Ang Huling El Bimbo" and true enough when they played it a grand display of fireworks was set out to color the dark skies (and pollute the air some more; no pun intended). I tried to hide my teary eyes, and took the camera so we can take pictures. (bad segue)

Abee and me

Tita Niña and Abee

But they weren't just done yet. As we headed towards the exits (as if we were inside the concert grounds), or the parking lot I should say, we saw someone climb the stage and on the drums (from the backview of the stage) We heard the intro of Ligaya. so we went back and watched them finish off the show. A little hesitant to leave this time even after we saw the huge sea of crowd heading towards the exit again.

We enjoyed every minute of it. It would've been better if we had tickets and we were inside with the view of the stage but the songs remain the same. After all it was the music that we came for. And hearing them played again by the same band that we loved as teenagers was more than enough. It was more than enough.

When its not for you...

I have always thought that I was destined for greatness. Its a little self-serving; One might think. But that's because that's how I am built. I believe in me. I know the things I am capable of, I am aware of my potential. But the sad part of it is I might be the only one who knows that; the lone person who'll notice how good I can become. Reality will always say, you are not worthy. That's the closest you can get to success. At the bottom of the rank and file.

Is it because there are so many things that I want to do that I haven't got time to even start pursuing them. I guess not. I wanted to become a rock star. I formed my band, contributed my songwriting skills and my voice. I wanted to become a writer. So I started blogging and practiced my amateur creative writing skills. All these to no avail. (at least for now)

Fresh from graduation, the very first office that I went to was a government office. I wanted to have a career that's in line with my field of study, the initial response that I got from the HR guy was "May kilala ka ba dito?" (Do you know someone here?) I didn't fold, I asked for the officer in charge/supervisor and complained about the rude guy. Only to find out that, its just how it is. You have to know somebody to be somebody in that office. (Government offices in general).

Im not gonna start telling the story of my ill fated application at Sandigan anymore. Tragic is the apt word to describe it.

I have bitterly accepted the fact that I cannot be a tv/movie actor. I have abandoned my dreams of becoming a regular host in Eat Bulaga. Some things are just too grand. Unattainable. Unreal.

Just recently I tried to apply for a post at the Senate. I went there, with my crushed spirit and the last few ounces of hope that somehow I might make it. I will finally get a job that I truly love. When I learned that it was in an office that stands proud with integrity, I was even more excited.

Everything went well, I guess. I passed 2 interviews. But in the end, I lost again.

At the pit of desperation, I stopped breathing, I stopped dreaming, I thought to myself, will I be forever stuck in a mediocre job? Am I blessed with these gifts that are bound to rot with my decaying soul.

It wasn't for me, and yet there are so many things I can still be happy about. I have a lovely wife and a beautiful son.

I can choose to stop dreaming and face the rest of my life with half dazed energy. And embrace the fact that it's just not for me.

Or I can rise above it, and finally settle my score with fate.