5 Elements of a Good Film

I was on my way to work this morning and I rode the bus and guess what they were playing on their video on board? No it wasn't Pride and Prejudice or Breakfast at Tiffany's neither was it A Few Good Men or the equally perennial blockbuster movies of Steven Seagal. It was a pirated copy of New Moon.

And so a few minutes away from login to the inhumane little torture voicebox named AVAYA. I new I had to write this down before this article gets drained along with my energy.

The 5 Elements of a Good Film

1. Weak Plot: The plot should evolve around star crossed lovers, who faces difficulties of unmatched proportions. It should not be contemporary and the story has to be well written on water. It should tackle vampires and werewolves and destroy everything that has already been told about them. For as long as it can elicit "Kilig" or shivers down the audiences spines, it should work. I promise it will.

2. Gorgeous Heroine/ Hot Male Lead: Film makers should be made aware that without this two, the movie will never work, Acting skills isn't a necessity as long as they can deliver their lines by a mere tweak of their face and they have an idea what sadness is, that should be fine. Although I will never understand what women think of as handsome or hot. I think the standards has come a long way from the days of old. (That I don't have any input for because like I said I really don't get it) Men nowadays should have lipstick and should have pale faces and anemic or they can have a nice chiseled body and it wont matter if they look like a werewolf.

3. Eternal shirtless scene: One or more of your male leads has to have 10 or more scenes without their shirt on inexplicably. Im guessing this has something to do with the fact that women outnumber men in terms of population. That's it, no further explanation required.

4. Constant pain: One of the characters has to look like they are in constant pain. The characters name may or may not be Jasper but this element should be satisfied in order to come up with a very interesting character.

5. Popular Book Phenomenon: Like Harry Potter which was written originally and is still categorized as a children's book, the movie should come out from a very popular book written by an unknown author. It has to be a huge success with teenagers and children and adults will eventually start reading it. Face it, kids nowadays set the trend in what's going to be popular.

The movie was very good. I like it. (Oh crap, crap, crap)