Tremble

Things went well, I guess.
I saw her again, for the first time since doomsday I saw the girl I love; the same girl who broke my heart.
And I saw Averill again (her nephew), God I miss that kid!
I wanted so much to kiss her, I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her forever.
But I couldn't. How I died that instant.
Then I sat next to her at their dining table and how the old memories of me and her sitting next to each other drowned me, consumed my entire being.
How I ache for her.. I just kept on staring at Averill so I could keep my tears from falling.

"How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"
"... You're all I want, You're all I need, You're everything."

I wanted so much to ask her to come back but I held it on to my thoughts.
Maybe because I was afraid she'd say no again.

++_ _+_ _++

Another heartbreaker

Averill didn't want to go home unless I go with him and play "China, china at his place" (Her kuya's house is just a few houses apart from their house).

Me: I'll go home na Averill
Averill: No, don't go
Me: I have to go home, magagalit na din Mommy ko, hinahanap na ako kse gabi na.
Averill: Mamimiss kita e.
Me: Babalik naman ako e.

Then I stood up from their couch and headed out, he held my hand and said " Balik ka tomorrow ha!"

I wish I could.

Believe it or not I love Averill, and I feel guilty because I kept thinking "Sana sya din ganyan sakin"
Sana katulad ni Averill, mahal nya pa din ako...

++_ _+_ _++

Lemon

Summer told me over YM "para kang sugat na pinipigaan ng dayap" [you're like a wound being squeezed with lemon].
Yes I knew it would hurt seein her again, but I didn't mind.
I'd take all the pain in the world if I could just have her back...

The hardest part was leaving...
I kissed her on her lips, hugged her and all I could ever say was... "Miss na kita"
I looked at her and waived my hand...
and went home with my eyes blurred with tears...
and I know, I'm pretty sure, I'll be comin' back for more...

God, please. I just want her back...

darkness fell at 1:33 am