The Funeral

Yesterday we had a long walk with auntie, a long last walk with her. The sad part was that she didn't get to walk with us. She had to lay down inside a white box laced with semi gold bar handles on its side in a limo. With a soft music haunting its every walls.
We left her house in Litlit (a small barangay in Silang, Cavite) and started the long treck to our parish Church in Silang Town Proper, Nuestra Senora De Candelaria. We walked for about an hour and a half until we reached the church for her final rites.
The priests last words were "Goodbye Gloria, we'll all see you again in Paradise"
How comforting, what a relief... to know that she's out there. All our dead loved ones waiting for us there in Paradise.
I'm not mocking, I wish it was true. That someday we'll all get together in a place where no one would no grief, a place unplagued by sorrow and spared by tears.
Please forgive me if I sound bitter.
All these things that I went through just went so fast that I can't keep up with it.
Like death.
No one can keep up with it.
Not even life itself.

++_ _+_ _++

Someday I will send these flowers to the sky...

One by one we gave her our final blessing and offered her flowers that will wither in no time.
Then we set foot again, to her final resting place. Our last goodbye. Our last glimpse of her mortal body.
I felt like I was gonna be sick.
I remembered Papa (her dad) and his funeral. It felt like it all just happened yesterday.
I wanted to bury my memories of her with auntie, my love and my sorrow.
Like the way she buried her love or what's left of it with Papa.
But I can't, and no matter how deep I dig, I'm just making a hole ad nothing more.
And where will I put these flowers if I can't send it to heaven?

++_ _+_ _++

Soft side

We still had some laughs yesterday though.
When all was drowning from their own tears and everyone had tomatoes for their noses.
The band played Mr. Suave. all of it, along with the "Hoy, hoy, hoy!"
I never realized till then how good the song was. It sounded real good with trombones, clarinets, sax and stuff.
We all had popped eyes and smiled.
I asked "Why the hell are they playing that song here?" Someone answered "They're just tryin' to comfort us"
Huh?!?
All Hail Parokya ni Edgar!

++_ _+_ _++

Chair

Another sad scene on our way to the cemetery was whe we passed E. Gonzales street in Silang.
Auntie's eldest brother lives along that street and we saw him sitting in a chair waiting for her sister to pass by his house.
He just had a major operation just 2 weeks ago, He could've been the one in a coffin if he hadn't survived. We even thought he wouldn't make it.
And so he bids his sister goodbye. I coudn't make a word of his face when we passed ny his house.
We all knew how much he wanted to go with us, but he still was too weak to walk.
I just thought to myself, whereever Auntie is, she would understand.

++_ _+_ _++

Death

The funny thing with death is that it comes so swiftly sometimes like a thief in the night.
It steals your soul from your body and with no hopes of ever catching the burglar.
Life goes on. It will, it has to.
I pictured myself suddenly, in a box with all these people walking me home to whereever my soul will rest.
I die and they move on. I'm just like a lost fragment of their life.

I died when she left, The real sad part is that I lost her and I know that she's just around but I can't have her.
When someone dies, there's no turning back, when someone leaves you it sometimes feel the same way but no amount of pain could ever compare to it.
Life moves on, yeah, what could be worst than living on without you...

darkness fell at 11:56 am