The Holidays are Over...

"‎...in the days after Christmas, we step down from the heights of the holiday and along with our colored lights return to dimmer realities: daily life and its monotony, despairing headlines, another year of wearisome failures, blind spots, and missteps..."- W.H. Auden

It’s after the New Year when the craze starts to die down. After the cheers and toasts of the holidays, after all the merrymaking and countless, endless parties of the past month; it’s when you begin to realize that the holidays are over.

Admit it or not there’s this warm intangible, almost iridescent feeling that December brings us. Whether it’s the spirit of Christmas or not, I do not know. All I know for sure is that it’s a good feeling. It’s the kind of feeling that drives us to give gifts and be extra nice to people, the kind that touches our hearts and somehow convinces us to donate generous amounts of money to charities and foundations. To most people it is their favorite time of the year.

I don’t think anything can be bigger than Christmas. And that is so true here in the Philippines where Christmas carols start to play as early as September. No other festivity tops Christmas. Lest a huge celebrity dies or new sex scandal storms the internet or Kris Aquino acquires another STD. Nothing touches the Filipino psyche more than Christmas.

It is the time of the year when every virtue known to Catholics are practiced like monks on a Buddhist monastery. I can go on and on about the evils of the Christmas holidays, like how the 4^th quarter of the year is when capitalists amass huge profits throughout the years. But nothing can destroy Christmas in our hearts. The only downside is when its over.

Our realities confront us when we are the lowest points in our lives. Or when everything starts going down the drain. We realize we’ve spent too much when we run out of cash. You’re dying from lung cancer because you smoked too much when you were young. It’s easy to ignore the obvious when you are at the top enjoying yourself too much.

That is why the city lights look dimmer even when they are their brightest after Christmas. We feel we have less and start wanting more after our pockets are emptied from all the merrymaking and gift giving but the truth is we’ve always had enough. We ignore the simple truths because we’re all too blinded with the glitters and the lanterns.

We all say we need a break, I guess that’s what Christmas is for some of us, A break from the tiring uncaring world we made ourselves. After it we go back to our sour old selves. Charity and Kindness is replaced by Greed and Selfishness. Humility and Temperance step backward for Pride and Lawlessness to take over.

A child's hapless dream is to have Christmas everyday of the year, and maybe its all it will ever be. Its a wonder how the human spirit and its innate goodness desperately clings to festivities and celebration to feel the need to be good. Yes we are capable to love and everything else springs from it, But do we really need a holiday for it? Do we?

30

I remember when I was a kid, I wished that I can pull time forward and be 21 and do all the things that adults can do. I so wanted to get away from home and have the freedom to stay up late, party and not worry about the 6pm curfew that my mom imposes. (Otherwise I'll end up picking my clothes on the streets because she throws them all away if I'm not home at the dot).

Let me cut to the chase and go straight to the point, Im turning 30, 23 days from now and I wish I can go back in time. Time flies faster as you grow older. And you end up gloating and sulking about things you want to do or accomplish or even bigger, things you didn't do and things you could have done. You go and make plans for the next 5 years but it seems like you can't squeeze it all in such a small window of time. You wish for more time.

The irony doesn't stop there, some 10 or 2 decades ago you wanted to travel through time fast forward to your mid twenties to have the time of your life and  you end up waking on your 27th birthday wishing you were seventeen and still learning the truths of life.

The sad fact is that you can't turn back time, but you can however make the most of the time you have left in this world. The Mayans predict the world will end in 2012 and if that's true that leaves us with 2 years to live a meaningful life. I guess if there's one good thing about this whole end of the world rumor is that some people will try to live a better life or if going to heaven even matters to them then they will try to be better people.

Coherence thrown out of the wind, the whole premise of this article got lost along with my bitterness. And as the sour reality of it kicks in I guess all I wanted to say is that time and life are too bitter enemies that will never get along because they try to outrun each other and life always loses the battle. The world doesn't wait for you to come along, but do not make decisions on impulse. One song says *some of the most interesting 40 year old people still don't know what to do with their lives but you'll never know when its too late and your just watching yourself burn and fade out.

"Make the most out of everyday" This line has been used over and over again but this makes more sense to me now that my age has gotten into me. I used to say, Age only has wheels but the person itself  do not, now I fear that I'm running out of time to make sense, to look back at my own meandering existence and smile about it.

Take each step with caution, do things that makes you and others smile. When someone says Live your life, don't take it literally, it means get a life worth living. Happiness is a choice you have to make so find that one thing that you know you'll do with passion.

Don't make the same mistakes I did.