For Kurt

Dear Kurt Brandon,

I have imagined this moment a hundred times. I'll be sitting in my room composing what would be my first letter to you. I imagined it would be a few weeks before you are born, but time has caught up with me and I find myself in the middle of wanting to come home and see you, and being stuck in a foreign land for a couple more weeks before I finally get to lay my eyes on you.

Nothing could have ever prepared me for this. When you're mom sent me the message that she was about to admitted to the OR to bring you into this world. I was stunned, I didn't know what to do. My mind was racing with the thought of catching the first flight back to Manila. I froze and I found myself calling your mom's number with tears running down my cheeks.

You have to know that I wanted to be there, I wanted to see it through. I wanted to be there for your mom to hold and comfort her before she gets admitted to the delivery room. I wanted to see you come out of the nursery. I wanted to be the first to hold you and place you in your mother's loving arms when she wakes up and looks for you, just like I did when your brother was born.

What I really wanted to say my son is that I love you as much as I love your big brother Jaden. I know things are going to be very different because I won't always be around but that doesn't mean that I love you less. I promise to make things better and I know in time we will all be together.

I love you son, there is nothing else that I long for than to feel your tiny little fingers curl around mine as if it were your tight embrace. But for now, all that has to wait. I'll see you soon!

Love,

Daddy