A Test of Spirit

When I got to my seat on the plane, that's when it all sank in. My wife's tight embrace and my son's soothing smile are the most irreplaceable things that I will dearly miss as I try to rise up to the challenge of seeking a new life in Singapore.

6 months ago, I was walking the streets of Bedok South with them. I took bus and train rides with my son on my shoulder. I held hands with my wife through the parks and subways of Singapore. now its a totally different thing when you're gonna have to do it alone.

Its funny because when I was back home, I couldn't wait to get out. Everything that is there to love about human existence has eluded the Philippines. I'm probably gonna be first to say I hate my country. From its discolored past and every corrupt government official that leeches every Filipino dry to the lowest organism in its infamous bureaucracy. From its insanely ridiculous conservatism that has held our country from moving forward up to the most high and mighty of our catholic church that sticks its fingers to every freakin' issue with their holier than thou attitude. The Filipino society, with its hopeless romanticism with all things tragic, scandalous, miraculous, dramatic, libelous and finds comfort with the mundane, has doomed itself to becoming the perpetual Sick Man of Asia. 

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Which is why its easy to fall in love with a country like Singapore. Who doesn't want order, cleanliness and discipline? Sure people here have complaints and things to whine about like the rising costs of living which has been going on for a number of years now but anyone who's been here would say its so much better here.

Basic fact, people move to another country because they want a better life. Its hard because you have to leave the people you love behind. My friend says, you can't have your own success story without that part of overcoming trials or making sacrifices, and I jokingly said "Wouldn't it be nice to have it all easy?" 

I know nothing's easy, and if this will be my test, then I'll take it head on. Walking the streets without my wife holding my hand or my son on my shoulder will be tough but I guess I have to endure it. Yes, I will always be a Filipino but I refuse to die like a sick man who willingly got devoured by his own kind.